Which piece are you missing in your life?

Missing Pieces

These Eight Steps Will Complete Your Life's Puzzle

By: Susan K. Wehrley

http://www.biztimes.com/news/2007/2/2/missing-pieces

Feeling like something is missing from your lifeω Or like you're on the wrong track - a track out of line with your values and goalsω Your zest for life may be gone, and you're wondering, "What's the missing pieceω And where can I find it to regain a complete lifeω Life might seem like a puzzle at times. But puzzles have pieces. We've identified eight pieces to a complete life - a life that will not only make you more fulfilled personally but, also, more fulfilled in your career and at your workplace. Fitting together the pieces of the personal leadership puzzle requires work, but the effects are very powerful. Being aware of the eight pieces and drawing upon them will allow you to build and sustain the life you want.

One of the reasons companies and individuals fail is because they stop being curious. It is best to pay more conscious attention to the vision you have for your life or your company, the strategies being used to reach the goals and the dynamics occurring than to be focused on the bottom-line or what is not occurring. When we become curious and take things less personally, we are able to help each other be our best selves.

When living a fast-paced life, at work and at home, it is easy to become anxious and to have foggy thinking. In order to see beyond the fog, slow down and ask: "How might we achieve our vision and goals in a way that is for the good of allω" The art of effective decision-making requires that we are clear before we forge ahead. When making decisions, it is important to practice this three-step process: Are we readyω What's our aimω OK, now fire. Personal leadership means we ensure that everyone is ready and understands the aim before we fire ahead. By doing this, we avoid playing victim on the back end when the results are not what we had hoped for, only because we led the process of decision-making that fires before taking aim. When you slow down to get clear on the front end, you will save time on the back end.

Daily, you will face unexpected twists in the road. It is your choice whether to stay in the place of peace or to be stressed out. The difference is simply a matter of whether or not you can stay open to positive thinking, trust that possibilities will come to you and allow them to come to you in perfect timing - instead of what we deem as our timeline. Getting calm as we face trials and tribulations comes from re-focusing our thinking from, "This is so difficult." to "How might I deal effectively with this situationω" Notice how the second thought creates a different feeling. The first statement is associated with fear and anger while the second question is imbued with a calm feeling associated with possibility thinking.

In order to build inner confidence, we first have to be comfortable with exposing fear and self-doubt so that it can be transformed. If we are not conscious about our fear and self-doubt we will mask it with dominant behavior or give into it with weak-pleasing behavior. Being aware of our fear and self-doubt allows us to become the observer to our emotional reaction before we choose a reactive behavior. For example, when we feel angry and want to yell at someone, we can instead notice this feeling and choose to be curious as to what the anger is about for us until we are clear and calm enough to express our needs with confidence. Paying attention to our emotional self will allow us to make confident decisions in our life.

It is easy to build walls of pretense and defensiveness because we feel that we lack value in the eyes of others, instead of seeing the opportunity to open our own heart to love in the opportunities before us. If you tend to take things personally, instead of focusing on, "How did they make me feel valued and importantω" re-focus your question on, "How might I make them feel valued and importantω' We are offered many difficult situations throughout the day, at work and at home. Our perspective is what dictates our choice: are we focused on our selves or othersω

The reason that many people do not reach their dreams and goals is because they lose patience and give up too soon. You can avoid this common dilemma by tightly holding onto your intentions, but loosely holding onto the form and timing in which things unfold. Become flexible with your approach, but stay committed to your heart's desires. This way of being will help you persevere over obstacles instead of believing that

you are not able to make your dreams come true, just because you are facing difficulties.

Mean what you say and say what you mean. This is good advice for any great relationship, at work and at home. When we notice issues and "call the bird out of the bush," we keep the walls of resentment from building. In order to communicate more effectively, stop focusing on questions like: "Will they be mad at me if I tell them how I feelω" or "Will I hurt them if I am honestω" Instead, get communicating, start focusing on the question: "How might we deal with (this issue)ω"

In order to create a fulfilled and effective life, we need to think beyond our limitations, expectations and conditioning. This requires a creative mind that can stay open to others, without losing yourself. In order to get creative, one must see a wide field of possibilities and stay open to the question: "How might we ...ω" versus being concerned about who is right and who is wrong.

As the Presidential Election nears, I think about the candidates and their Leadership Styles.  Below is one of the blogs I enjoy reading regarding this topic.  I think the curious questions regarding their philosophies and their stand on the varying topics are interesting.  Read on and think about what questions you might have for our candidates before voting.

Tough Questions for the Presidential Candidates

Posted by Katherine Bell on May 19, 2008 4:27 PM

Despite a never-ending primary season, the presidential candidates haven't yet answered crucial questions about their leadership abilities, styles, and philosophies. Last week the Center for Public Leadership at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government brought together 200 leaders from the corporate world, the public sector, and academia to discuss the leadership qualities the next president will need in order to face the grave challenges that await him or her.

Here's a selection of questions Amgen CEO Kevin Sharer, former White House chief of staff Andrew Card, former Mayor of Philadelphia Rev. W. Wilson Goode, YouTube news and politics director Steve Grove, and Cheryl Dorsey, president of global nonprofit Echoing Green, would ask if they were interviewing the candidates for the job.

Andrew Card, former chief of staff for President George W. Bush and former vice president, General Motors

• Do you have the courage to be lonely?
• The easiest thing to do in the White House is to attract smart policy advisors. How do we know that you know enough to not just accept what they say?
• Many of the hardest decisions in the White House won't be consensus decisions. What will inform your decision making?
• How will you spend quiet time in anticipation of a tough decision?
• The role requires decisiveness. Share some examples of your ability & willingness to be decisive.

Kevin Sharer, CEO and chairman, Amgen Pharmaceuticals

• Tell us about a high-performing team that you've built. What are the most important principles you'd follow in governing and leading your senior White House team?
• What could cause you to fail as the President?
• How will you gather, evaluate and act on information for all policy decisions?
• In the past, how have you responded to, evaluated and learned from mistakes - your own and those of your team?
• How do you decide whom to trust? How does someone earn your trust?
• How do you really relax and recharge?
• What is your negotiating style/approach/philosophy?
• Tell us about a time when your judgment has been tested in crisis. What do you want us to appreciate about your judgment?

Cheryl Dorsey, president, Echoing Green

• What are the keys to translating your vision for America's future into action?
• Please describe some of your personal tools for dealing with adversity?
• How will you appeal to a diverse set of constituencies in an honest, respectful and inclusive manner?
• Can you share some examples of when you were a catalyst who brought groups with polarized opinions together so that all voices were at the table?
• How will you inspire all federal employees to provide the highest level of service to their customers - the people of the USA?

Steve Grove, head of news and politics, YouTube

• Young people have engaged in this election in greater numbers than ever before. How will you keep them engaged?
• The internet and technology have flattened the political playing field, allowing for collective decision making in new ways. How will you balance our ability to have a more participatory democracy with the need for executive decision-making?
• What are the first three things you're going to do to raise America's confidence once you're in office?
• What is your definition of leadership? What is your overarching purpose as a leader?
• What are the most important qualities and/or skills you look for in the people you want on your senior team?
• How will you create an environment for innovation within your leadership team?
• In what ways will you help Americans realize the challenges we face and do the hard work of overcoming them together?

Reverend W. Wilson Goode, Sr., director, Amachi Program, and former mayor of Philadelphia.

• What do you believe should happen to those close to you when they make an honest mistake?
• Can you give us two or three concrete examples from your past as to how you have helped change the culture of an organization?
• The USA ranks 1st in incarceration and 18th in high school graduation. What leadership skills do you bring to the challenge of reversing these numbers?
• How will you avoid becoming part of the "good old boy" network that has created and is content with the way things are now?
• What experiences have you had that have helped you deeply understand the mindset and values of another culture?
• What are your five core values and how do they shape how you lead?

All the participating leaders voted on their favorites; you can see the top 15 questions here. The Center for Public Leadership plans to work with the media to get these questions asked.

What are the toughest and most revealing questions you've asked or been asked in a job interview? What would you ask the presidential candidates?

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